The Traveling Red Dress: Where Magic Happens
Months ago I read Jenny Lawson’s (The Bloggess) first post about The Traveling Red Dress. She talks about, “how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply ‘not sensible’.” I remember totally agreeing with her, and committing in my head to do more crazy, spontaneous things…and then kind of forgetting about that commitment while I watched the latest episodes of Modern Family and became addicted to Pinterest.
But then in January, Jenny revisited the Traveling Red Dress, and she suggested that people might ask for, or purchase, their own red dress. And I was like, wait, what? I can just do it myself? Oh. Yeah. I don’t have to just read about it. I can do it too. And the more I thought about it, the more awesome it seemed. Until my hands were trembling with excitement as I started organizing a party for me and my girlfriends, buying a red dress, and arranging for a photographer.
You know when something is supposed to happen because everything comes together like magic. That’s what happened with the traveling red dress. We were all free on the same day, including a photographer. My sister flew down from Seattle to be there. For the group shots, the dresses were perfectly coordinated- two red, two navy, two black (we did NOT arrange that in advance). The traveling red dress has a corseted back and fit everyone from a size 4 – 14, and looked GORGEOUS on each woman!
The whole experience was awesomely feminine. I know I can be a little sentimental about things, but it was so special to have women helping other women feel beautiful instead of competing with each other. We had a couple blankets that two friends would hold up to make a “dressing room.” Once you had the dress on, one friend would lend you her lip gloss, one would make sure your hair was good, and another would straighten the bows on your dress. Even while the photographer was taking pictures, we were surrounded by the most beautiful, feminine energy. It’s amazing how good female friends can lift you up. I am blessed to have such wonderful women in my life.
One of the highlights of the day came when we were just wrapping up. A lady walked up to me while I had the dress on. She said, “My daughter wants to know if you’re a princess.” I was so surprised. For a second I didn’t know what to say. But then it was like angels whispered in my ear because I answered, “I feel like a princess.” I wish now I had also told the girl, “You are beautiful. You can feel like a princess whenever you want. Your princess is inside you, and you can create the experiences that share her with the world.”
A giant “Thank You!” to Jenny for initiating the Traveling Red Dress movement, and reminding me to be unreasonable and unsensible (Note: if you’re going to be unreasonable, you get to make up new words). The rewards, so far, have been amazing.
Update: My friends and I met at our local meadery to look at the photos from the photographer. We attracted some attention with our laptop and all of our giggling and smiling. A straight dude came over and we tried to explain the awesomeness of the dress to him, and he was like, “And then you just give it away? Why?” Then his gay buddy came over. We started trying to explain the dress to him and immediately he said, “Oh! The Bloggess’ Traveling Red Dress! Of course! That’s so awesome! Have you seen her latest post?”
Magic.
Photo credits and thanks to my sister, Emrie Vegas, and Eric C. Carter.
Living Juicy – Completion
Completing and procrastinating seem linked to me. I don’t complete some things because they are unpleasant in some way. When I do that I am putting of completion- aka procrastinating. An easy example of this is when I do laundry. I wash and dry all the clothes, fold most of them, but I never hang up the ones that go in the closet.
Except this last weekend. I actually completed the laundry in one evening, including hanging up the clothes. In fact, I reorganized my closet a little and found lots of clothes I didn’t even remember I had. There’s one good benefit of completing a task.
In fact, I’m going to make a list of things I’ve completed this week. Things that are done and done. No lingering sense of, “I should do that,” or “I still have to finish that”.
- Laundry – done and done.
- The Completing blog post – done and done.
- Took a kitty to the vet and got some (hopefully) allergy-free cat food – done and done.
- I sent in the application for a volunteering position. I’ll probably follow up with an email in a few days, but this step is done and done.
- I’m in the process of completing this container of dark chocolate truffles.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I haven’t actually completed as much as I thought. On the other hand, my therapist told me I have a tendency to be overly self critical. Maybe the fact that I’ve completed anything at all is a point in my favor.
What do you think? How do you determine when something is complete? What are some things you would like to complete, but haven’t? What have you completed in the last week? (Remember, there are a lot of things you can take credit for.)
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Next week’s theme in The Living Juicy Project is “Energizing”. I’m looking forward to that. I could use a little extra energy.
Living Juicy – Completing
Completing has to do with trust and integrity. If you have a habit of completing things other people will trust you when you say you’re going to do something. More importantly, though, is trusting yourself.
Many of us have things we’d like to do – nap, get a pedicure, write a book, get some exercise, etc. And we plan those things with the best of intentions, but then something important comes up; your kid gets a cold or your cat has to go to the vet. You say to yourself, “This is more important right now. I’ll get to my thing later.” But how often do you get to your thing? How often do you take that walk or go to the gym? I’ll bet other things keep coming up and you rarely, if ever, get to your own thing.
In time, you become extremely dependable to other people. They know they can count on you. I think that’s the most attractive part of that lifestyle. Knowing that you have a certain amount of respect from the people in your life.
Unfortunately, when you live that way there’s one person who completely loses trust in you… that’s yourself! You aren’t respecting your own wishes, plans, or desires. Over time, you can develop a habit of not completing things that are important to you. I know, I’ve done it! I’m going along in life, and all of the sudden I look around and all my family members have these amazing lives that I helped them create, and I’m over here wondering what happened? Why don’t have all the things I wanted?
Hmmmm… that’s a good question.
Imagine what your life would be like if you could count on yourself the way other people count on you.
Try this- listen to this song, and imagine that you are singing it to yourself. How do you feel? Does you feel hopeful? Sad? Envious? Feel free to share in the comments.
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This post is part of The Living Juicy Project. Check it out!
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Living Juicy – Completing “Doing”
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This post is part of The Living Juicy Project. Check it out!
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The week of completing started on Friday, but I hadn’t finished my posts on last week’s “doing”. So here are some quotes and common thoughts that I’d collected about doing.
Just do it.
How do you do?
You can do it.
I can’t do it.
Do it.
I do.
“In the true order of things one does not do something in order to be happy—one is happy and, hence, does something. One does not do some things in order to be compassionate, one is compassionate and, hence, acts in a certain way.” – Neale Donald Walsch
We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. – Mother Teresa
I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end. – Abraham Lincoln
If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes. – John Wooden
You can’t DO happy, you can only BE happy. – Someone
Living Juicy – Doing
This week of The Living Juicy Project is focusing on “Doing”. At first I didn’t understand the topic. In my experience “doing” is usually followed by some other action word- like “doing the dishes” or “doing your homework”. How do you define “doing” by itself? Think about it…
I remember when I took a foreign language class and we were trying to translate the verb “to do” from English into German. But the German language doesn’t have that word. The closest they have is “to make”. It’s kinda close, but not exactly the same.
So, what is “doing”? The dictionary definition is “action; performance; execution”
SARK draws a distinction between “doing” and “being.” “Doing” is more in your head, while “being” is more in your body. I can see the truth in that observation. Sometimes I keep myself busy “doing” stuff so I don’t have to feel or be with myself. I’ll read or watch TV until late into the night to avoid unpleasant emotions. SARK illustrates this in a drawing with the head floating away from the body.
“Your soul doesn’t care what you do for a living – and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about what you’re being while you’re doing whatever you’re doing….” Neale Donald Walsch
It’s possible that we are doing too much. It might be useful to stop every now and again and meditate on what it is we actually want to do. Maybe it’s time for some conscious, deliberate doing. Have you ever had the thought that time is just flying by, and you have no idea where it even went… I’ve had that exact thought in the last couple days. We’re almost done with January 2010, and I’m not completely sure what all I’ve been doing.
Thank goodness I have these posts to point to and say, “I’ve done that.” Now the question is, Who have I been being? Who I’ve been “being” has more relevance on my future and on my soul.
Living Juicy – What Do You Want to Invent?
Here’s the deal. SARK says that we are the inventors of our own lives.
Authors are story inventors.
Painters are picture inventors.
Lawyers and judges are law inventors.
Gardeners are outdoor setting inventors.
Office Assistants (like me) are efficiency & procedural inventors.
Mothers and Fathers are baby inventors.
Everyone is an inventor. I finally get it.
That means you have the freedom to invent whatever you want for your life. What do you want to invent?
I wanted to play with that idea a bit (and take some of SARK’s artsy advice). If I could invent anything, what would I invent? So I got some paper, scissors, and crayons … and invented a Love Tree.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could just go outside and pick some Love off a tree? The perfectly ripe Love is already on the ground. Immediately accessible. Easy access. It never goes bad. But maybe you want to save some Love for later, so you pick some Love off the tree and put it in a bowl on your table until it’s just right.
You would never have to worry about running out because you have an entire tree full of it! The tree just keeps growing and producing more and more Love!
Love Tree Invention
What do you want to invent?
It’s time to be more deliberate about my inventions. It’s time to have some Invention Intentions. Which will probably include:
- love,
- playfulness,
- joy,
- friendship,
- kitties,
- and homemade french bread.
Feel free to share some of your inventive thoughts and creations in the comments. I would love to hear from you!
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This post is part of The Living Juicy Project. Check it out!
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Living Juicy – Inventing
You are an inventor. Yes. You.
Maybe you have never thought about yourself that way. Inventors are scientists, right? They like gadgets, technology, doodads, and whatchamacallits. Wrong. But that’s what I thought until I read this week of Living Juicy.
January 15, Inventing- SARK says, “We are all inventors.” My first thought after I read that was, “Not me.”
There are bunches of inventions I am especially impressed by- toilet seat covers, bed springs, computers, etc. But there is no way in this world I could imagine creating those types of things myself.
But you know SARK wouldn’t leave us hanging. She says, “Invention is the natural outcome of creative thinking.” Logically, that makes sense. If you have a completely original thought and you follow through with some action, then that outcome would be a new invention. For example, I wanted to make some breakfast bran muffins. I found a recipe online and made some edits to my preference. Now those “edits” were part of my original thought, and the apple bran muffins were my invention.
But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to make something big. A real invention…better keep reading.
January 16, Inventing Means Experimenting- SARK recommends doing some artsy project, which I skipped because I was busy. (See Week 1, Procrastination).
January 17, There Are No Mistakes- There are no mistakes. Drill this into your brain. There are no mistakes. Think about all the inventions that we use everyday that we created on accident. Penicillin is the most well known, but there are plenty of others (including the microwave and ice cream cones).
So maybe instead of being so hard on yourself for making a mistake, see what you can make out of it.
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This post is part of The Living Juicy Project. Check it out!
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Living Juicy – Your Napping Kit
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This post is part of The Living Juicy Project. Check it out!
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This is going to be a short post. I took a nap at lunch instead of writing. *smile*
It was worth it.
Think about your favorite places to nap. Now imagine some new, cushy locations. I can’t remember the last time I napped at a park or on a beach. In her book Living Juicy, SARK draws various prime napping locations- Couch, tree, beach, car, etc. Seeing the variety was kind of mind opening. It might be time to expand your repertoire.
Now think about some napping tools. Maybe a favorite blanket or a special pillow. I have a fuzzy pink blanket in my car for emergency napping purposes (It’s big enough to double as a pillow). This can be your Napping Kit. If you don’t have one, make one now. Remember, it should be easily portable so you can nap anywhere that catches your fancy.
It’s time to start a Napping Revolution!
1… 2… 3… Nap!
Loading ...Next week, “Inventing”…
Living Juicy- The Benefits of Napping
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This post is part of The Living Juicy Project. Check it out!
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I LOOOOOVE napping. So believe me, I’ve really enjoyed this week of The Living Juicy Project.
Unfortunately, not everyone shares my opinion about napping. Lots of people see it as a waste of time. Why sleep when you could be getting stuff done? A friend of mine has been known to say, “Sleeping is just practice for death.”
Well, pooh on them. They don’t know what they’re missing.
SARK says that “napping prepares the mind for new thoughts,” and I’ve found that to be true.
In fact, I just remembered one time I had lost my wallet. I’d been searching for it for days and I couldn’t find it anywhere. It was during a really stressful summer- my stepfather was bed-bound with a cancerous brain tumor and my mom and I were taking care of him. Even a little thing like losing my wallet seemed like a huge deal. I don’t know why, but one day I decided to take a nap. As I woke up I just knew that the wallet was in between the bed-frame and the mattress. I leaned over the side of the bed, looked down, and there it was. Like magic.
Here are some other benefits of napping, aka nappy naps (based on extensive personal research):
- Naps are very refreshing. They’re like a restart button for your mind each day.
- Napping feels so decadent- like you should be doing something else, but instead you’re going to give yourself the gift of a nap. It’s a cheap and easy way to spoil yourself.
- Naps are good with a buddy (or with pets).
- Rainy day naps are magical.
- Naps boost creativity and productivity. It’s scientifically proven. Check out the research by Dr. Mednick. (She has a nap wheel that calculates your optimum napping time.)
If you can’t remember the last time you took a nap, it’s time to try it again. You’ll be glad you did.
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Song to fall asleep with – Stay Awake by Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins
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P.S. Here’s a short video with some scientific proof that naps are good. (Use it as a justification for all your naps. I should show it to my friend.)
P.P.S. This is probably the real reason I take so many naps. How can I resist curling up with this cute, little guy?
Living Juicy – Final Procrastination
Final Procrastination? I wish. I mostly said it because it’s a cheesy play off the movie Final Destination (which I do NOT recommend). But let’s look at the concept. What if, from this moment on, you never procrastinated again? What if you did everything as it occurred to you? How would your life be different?
Yesterday I wrote about some of the smaller things I put off, mostly related to chores. The energy I’ll save by doing things as I think of them will be amazing, but even by writing that post I was putting off the more serious discussion. Procrastinating is not just ignoring the dishes, it’s ignoring the opportunities to go after my dreams.
A lot of the bits I’ve read this week link procrastination with perfectionism. SARK writes, “Procrastinators are also tremendous perfectionists and relentless rehearsers. They rehearse over and over in their mind how they’re going to do it perfectly–then when they do nothing–it doesn’t disturb their perfect vision!” This really resonated with me. I’m sure we’ve all had a lot of great ideas, and somehow, they rarely seem to come to fruition. What stops us from taking the steps to make them happen?
For me, I hate making mistakes. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, worrying about little things I may have done wrong at work. Here’s an example- a couple months ago I almost got into a major car accident. A young guy in a fast car did a U-turn in front of me, and I swear I missed hitting him by 2 inches. Adrenaline was pouring through my veins, and it felt almost like a near-death experience. Fortunately I was almost home, and everything was fine.
The next day I made a mistake at work. Not a big one. No one was hurt by it, but it was definitely my fault. When I realized my mistake the adrenaline started pumping- it was the same feeling as the almost accident.
Maybe you’ve felt something similar. It’s that feeling I’m avoiding. The only trouble is, everyone makes mistakes. There’s no way to avoid making mistakes. Not only that, making mistakes isn’t bad. In fact, they should really be called “learning experiences.” Isn’t that what our parents and teachers told us when we were younger?
When you see a baby learning to walk, its one of the most precious things in this world. The baby takes a step, maybe two, and then falls on their diapered bum. Nobody thinks the baby is making a mistake when she falls. She’s just learning how to walk. That’s what we’re all doing- we’re just learning how to live.
I want to be more like that baby. She isn’t thinking about how she might look if she falls down on video. She doesn’t worry about making mistakes. She’s just wants to get where she’s going, and nothing is going to stop her.
SARK calls herself a “recovering procrastinator.” I think that’s a good title. It’s time to unlearn those habits that are keeping us from realizing our dreams (Yep, I’m talking about you, Mr. Procrastination). Maybe start with some smaller things, like chores, and work up to the big stuff.*
If you’re like me, and want to do some more work on this topic, stop by the bookstore this weekend and pick up the book Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now, or just order it here. Why procrastinate? *grin* I’ll be reading my copy at the same time.
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Songs to get you started – If Not Now by Tracy Chapman & What You Waiting For by Gwen Stefani
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Next week’s Living Juicy topic: Napping…Zzzzzz…
*Note: It’s important to acknowledge the things that you ARE doing. For me, it’s this blog. One of the things about blogging- it’s a very forgiving medium. It’s hard to say what a “perfect” blog is, because the range of style and content is huge.